Ex-Performer, Julie Meadows, Speaks Out About Working with Max Hardcore

November 14, 2011 by Lydia LeeSex Worker Rights

There is an article at GQ.com by Shalom Auslander entitled, My Hard-Core Obsession. He writes about the guilt of liking certain types of porn and he interviews Max Hardcore (Paul Little) and Ashley Blue.

I left a comment, but it doesn’t appear to allow them visibly, so I’m reposting it here:

I worked for Max Hardcore and didn’t enjoy it. I worked as a porn actress for six years and mainly for people who cared about what I enjoyed/did not enjoy, personally. Max was the low point of my career.

I can honestly say, for me, that though the scene was not enjoyable, it was the hiring process that disturbed me the most.

I wrote about working for him a few years ago on my adult blog www.juliemeadows.com/blog, and then just over the past week went back and forth with someone I had worked with around 1999, and it has uncovered some details about what really bothers me about Paul Little and others hiring practices.

I was explained things in a very rational way–as with any job I took at that time–and nothing about the rationalizations were transparent to me. I did not have the mind for uncovering shifty tactics because, honestly, everything I’d done in pornography up until that point was pretty straightforward. I knew I was showing up to perform a sex scene, but I had no knowledge about kinkier forms of sex at that time and couldn’t have projected anything beyond my own sexual awareness.

I was told I had to come alone and park my car blocks away to minimize people and automotive traffic. Logical. But I had to refuse parking my car away from me because, should a catastrophe arise beyond our control, I would need it and feel better if it were close. Regardless, I was not given the location address. I had to follow a driver to the house and write the directions down on my own. Also, when I asked over the phone what kind of sex it would be, I was told boy/girl sex. I wasn’t told that it would be about implied pedophilia. I wasn’t told that there might be incest-related dialogue. I wasn’t told a speculum would be involved or extreme face-f*cking.

I got inside and was played a video where he explained what was required, to my horror. I told him on the phone I was only into “old fashioned sex” because I had been warned not to work for him. I do take responsibility for accepting the job though I had been warned not to, but again, he didn’t tell me the particulars. At this rate I could have only guessed maybe he was difficult to work with, but people have different types of chemistry and none of that suggested working with him might not be pleasant based on that, alone. The person who warned me said nothing more about him except, “Don’t work for him.” Good advice stupidly ignored.

As he explained the scene, two large men stood behind my seat in his tiny office. If I imagine what another female could possibly feel like in that situation, but with her car blocks away from her and no idea where she is because she was driven to the location and not given the address, I can imagine she’d feel even more vulnerable than I did, and I still felt very vulnerable in the situation. I had to decline the blow job and being opened up with a speculum, but was asked why, of course. I explained that I only performed sex acts where I also enjoyed what was happening–not just my scene partner–and that unless he could produce a degree or some credentials showing me he was qualified to use a medical instrument on my body, there was no way I would let him insert a metal object into me. We were negotiating my doing the scene or leaving, and settled on my doing the scene without those things.

The dialogue portion was given to me during the scene, so I delivered it because I just wanted to be done with it. I was angry and mean to him throughout, and left thoroughly disgusted by the experience. Had I been given all the information I would have declined doing that scene, but then I might not be here to explain the tactics some pornographers use to get otherwise unwilling women to perform in their scenes. It’s all laid out very plainly, but only after all the vulnerabilities and insecurities are in place, and only after the model has shown up. BDSM is straightforward because it is appropriately named. Gonzo porn is so varied that these niche companies fall into it without having to explain anything at all until the time comes to actually do the scene. The description they offer is the same for educational and couples-related scenes: boy/girl, blow job, etc…

I just spent the past few days talking about this with someone. Certainly there are predators from different industries who use misinformation or strategically placed information to prey upon people, but there really should be an identifying label for that kind of porn so a performer who is not aware of that kind of sex can ask questions about it based upon the name. I had been asked to perform bondage sex and declined easily and without anger because I know my limits and the descriptor explains it plainly. It’s just not what I’m into. These people take advantage of their lack of identity within the industry. A performer can perform for a number of “gonzo” lines before running into the abusive/extremely niche porn occupied by people like Paul and Khan Tusion. Agents get paid when performers work, and often they juggle so many performers they can’t be bothered with the little details. My own agent called it a “boy/girl” scene even though he knew the theme. Through my experience with Paul I learned to ask for all the information, and failing that, the title of the movie.

I remember a phone conversation with a producer, after I asked him everything there was to ask, and got nothing abnormal. “What’s the title of the movie?” “Cry Babies,” he said.

People are into different things and I know there are people who probably enjoy working for even abusive pornographers, but I can only imagine how many don’t and how it is probably preferred that some or most of the models don’t enjoy it because of the pain these people want to capture on camera.

Thank you for writing this. Nobody talks about it and when an adult female who has chosen sex work with clear-thinking intellect has a bad experience in porn, most people probably just think she deserves it, but I do not. There are pitfalls in everything, but that scene still bothers me to this day. When I was a performer in the early 2000′s, most pornographers did not conduct their business the way Paul did. I navigated the industry pretty well, but many are not as fortunate in their experiences as I was. I would never paint female sex workers as “victims”, but that no one ever addresses specific victimizers doesn’t seem right, either.

It’s not about everyone is porn being bad or every experience being horrible. It’s about the porn industry knowing these sexual predators are in the industry and actually glorifying them. They’ve painted Max Hardcore as a saint and hero. If they promote these predators so much, what’s to make anyone think they aren’t all like that?? Sorry but about 80% are bad and about 70% of those are sick, deviant criminals that should be kept away from everyone. If the porn industry wants to be a legal industry, THAN CLEAN HOUSE AND GET RID OF THE PREDATORS!! Oh sorry, there wouldn’t be much left then, would there??

Oh, and I wasn’t told about the pissing scene until the end. And it was faked, so it was actually the most pleasant aspect of the scene.

Thanks for sharing this truth, Julie. It’s time the porn industry gets real and gets rid of these guys!!

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