hello this is steven aka chet stevenhorse and probably 100 other names that are unregistered from pwl.
Hi Mike –
It’s taken me some time to work up the courage to write you, but this entire PWL matter has been weighing on me so profoundly this past week, I feel compelled to reach out to you now and ask your forgiveness. I’m hoping — please — that we can keep this email between us;
[She changed her mind and asked me to post this as a public apology, not just to me but to everyone ]
I also know that all’s fair in love and war, so I understand if, given my behavior on the site, you feel no compulsion to do so. Nevertheless, I ask you to bear with me for just a few moments.
Mike, I feel a profound sense of shame and regret over my participation in PWL. I believed that I’d found a cause worth fighting for — one that had virtuous intent — and I allowed myself to get swept up in the fervor of fighting “the good fight,” even when so much of the evidence surrounding me suggested that the fight — and the fighters — weren’t worthy of such dedication. I knew little or nothing about the industry when I signed up — I can’t honestly recall how I even arrived at PWL — but once I’d bought into its populist appeal (to borrow your phrase), I was determined to be a team player. I allowed myself to be hoodwinked, I played along gladly, and I’m mortified now because of it.
But beyond that, I feel a deep sense of regret over any comments I made about you that were unkind. I didn’t know you, I’d never heard of you, and any judgment I made about you was thus based upon hateful and perhaps vindictive (and surely embellished) wiki claims that I should have been conscientious enough to question and verify. Instead, I followed blindly. And during this past week of reflection, this has been most burdensome for me — you and others I hurt surely didn’t deserve that, and I’m deeply, deeply sorry.
At one point last week — and I don’t recall where — you mentioned that I was “one of the worst” on PWL. God, I hope that’s not true. I edited wikis, yes, and I posted snarky comments and offered my assistance to moderators via PMs, but I never wrote a wiki, never researched a person’s family, never did anything outside the site to harass anyone — I never sent a letter or email to anyone, never made a call, never established fake Twitter accounts — in short, I never felt comfortable with the tactic of external harassment and intimidation. At one point, I was asked by Robocop (via PM) to send letters to your service providers; I agreed (team player that I was) and asked for guidance, but I never followed through on his request. I thought long and hard about it, but decided in the end that that was a line I couldn’t cross. My conscience, fortunately, kicked in and warned me that involving myself at that level would have nothing but detrimental consequences to all involved, myself included.
Please understand, however, that I understand fully the harm that I caused you and others. I’m not denying responsibility for my actions, nor am I attempting to minimize or excuse my participation. What I did was unconscionable, and I’ll suffer whatever consequences follow (as I should). Sean noted in an email that editing wikis was akin to putting my rubber stamp on their content, and though initially I tried to reject that line of argument intellectually, he’s absolutely right. I was willing to look the other way even when confronted with pictures of beautiful children being labeled in the most vile ways. It breaks my heart to think I endorsed such tactics by acting as I did and by remaining tacit. I will live with that. The lessons are hard.
Mike, I know the wounds are still raw. I also know that any negative opinion you and others may hold of me is entirely justified. But I’m hoping that at some point in the future, when the PWL saga is in the past, you’ll somehow find it in your heart to forgive my despicable actions, and to know how genuinely sorry I am for any hurt I might have caused you or anyone else over the past two months. I believe that in my tenure at PWL, I was most unkind toward you, and I know how utterly wrong that was. I wish I could erase it all; instead, I can only commit myself to learning from it and becoming a better and more mature individual.
Thank you for listening.
With deep regret,
I only speak for myself here, when I read this I feel the sincerity behind it. I have made mistakes and been forgiven and I am forgiving Cali.
When you contrast this with Donny Long’s screed you can not help but see the differences in humanity. Cali fully accepted responsibility for her actions, Donny continues to refuse to accept ANY responsibility
Note to Donny, Coke Stevenson, Bluuuurgh and others (all of whom, except Donny, are BEGGING us not to out them right now)….This is how you apologize.
Cali is going to read these and she knows it may be hard but she also feels that it is the path to her personal salvation. You may not be as ready to forgive as I am and I respect that but in the end Cali is doing the right thing and to me that counts, a lot.
July 19th, 2011
right now trpwl has the ip address from an unsuspecting wireless signal somewhere nearby. i’m not only obligated to speak up to protect them, but to take responsibility for the grief i caused with my posts. the animosity has escalated to ip logs, email hacking, and ddos attacks and i’m not sure how much further people are willing to go with this.
i didn’t know anything about pwl until it first showed up on gawker. i didn’t know anyone responsible for the data leak. i didn’t know who donny seoane was, and still don’t. i didn’t make friends with any other posters, and rationalized that i was different from the mods, sockpuppets, and wannabe’s that took pleasure in throwing around slurs.
i’m not sure how i can justify ignoring all the post-4chan ‘first amendment’ bullshit that the moderators encouraged. i certainly can’t justify sharing the shit i found using google with pwl. nobody asked me to perform online “interventions.” my ultimate mistake was believing that reasonable requests to remove info would be honored. i expected that mercedes and others would take their lumps, then it would be removed. the end. that was fucking dumb.
i don’t know how it was determined that mercedes would be made an example of, but i contributed a lot of junk that other people have used to actively pester her. for months. that sucks. as soon as pwl died i set about removing pages from google cache. so far about 200 pages are gone with dozens more in the queue. the least i can do.
[Removed because it doesn’t work]
i hope that stuff never goes back online. i have no interest in perpetuating the hostility. i don’t have any outstanding personal grudge against foster, tompkins, south, lukeisback, whitacre, mercedes, christian or spiegler. regarding the identities of tor, robocop, silver slugger, scudster, etc all i can offer is: good luck. in closing, it is advisable to research the credentials of the people you fuck.
my sincerest apologies for being such a dick about elaborating on that point. if you wish you may continue this conversation at twitter.com/blurg_sorry.